How do you make a separation and divorce as amicable as possible?

As much as we would like to think of an 'amicable' divorce, it is at best, a figment of someone's romantic imagination. Divorces and separations are never amicable although there may be exceptions to the rule. We obviously can't set exceptions as the yardstick to define divorce as the new normal.

All divorces leave a lot of bitterness and bad blood behind which can't easily be wished away from the lives of the separated couple. Having said that, there's no harm in trying to make divorce as amicable as possible. It's another matter that this is quite unlikely. Most divorces in western societies are due to infidelity or clash of egos but in India, it's usually due to issues like dowry disputes and domestic violence among others.

The Greed

Let's consider a typical Indian divorce resulting from dowry disputes and domestic violence. In most cases, it is the greed of the groom and his parents along with other family members like the groom's siblings who gang up against the newly arrived bride. They pounce on the helpless woman like a pack of jackals that pounce on a lone deer.

It begins with disgraceful behavior by the groom and in-laws towards the bride like the use of profanities to refer to her parents and then beat her up if she protests. Some of these situations even end up with fatalities like murdering of the bride or causing serious life-threatening injuries to her. Interestingly, it's the groom's mother and sister/s who are found to instigate such hooliganism with fanatical intensity.

A Chain of Idiosyncrasies

Later, when the sister-in-law gets married and lands in another family with similar greed for dowry, she becomes the new victim and realizes her mistake. It's a chain of idiosyncrasies pervading many Indian families that refuse to learn from the country's very own tradition of respecting marital bonds and more importantly, respecting women.

As women are becoming self-sufficient, they are less inclined to take such hooliganism lying down, and that explains why divorce rates are going up. In such situations, there's hardly any scope for an amicable separation but if there is to be any, the guilty men will have to take the responsibility of going through divorce proceedings gracefully.