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What type of husband do you suggest to your daughter?
We usually spend time with our children teaching them how to behave with others, how to practice religion, how to choose a career, how to save for our financial needs etc. while neglecting the most important thing how to choose a life partner. These are the points I feel like discussing with my daughter when it comes to choosing her partner:
Infatuation or Love
You can often hear a girl saying "Oh my god. He is so cute, whenever he looks at me I get butterflies in my stomach". A sensation of feeling butterflies in the stomach when you see an attractive boy is just an indication that you are hormonally active!! It simply indicates that you are attracted to him at first sight and it dies out over a period of time. It is very important for a girl to differentiate between infatuation and love.
There is a great difference between feeling crazy for a moment and spending your whole life with a person. Marrying a person is a commitment to your whole life. You need to have some control over your decisive nature and should never immediately jump to conclusions because this is a head-and-heart thing!!
Observe His Nature
A Man who is kind, nice and polite towards the helpers such as a steward or a server at a hotel or his subordinates is usually a humanitarian and has respect for others. If he is on time for a date and even if he is late, the way he explains his late arrival should show his concern for you.
The nature of respecting others and especially elder people reveals a true man who takes life seriously and loves it as a blessing. He should be honest and trustworthy, which are known through his genuine nature. If he is considerate enough towards his mother and sister, then he might be the same with his wife too. He should stand for you, fight for you, protect you and should never see you just as an object of desire.
The one who feels responsible towards his work and duties will eventually pay his attention towards his family as a part of his moral responsibilities through which he will be interested to share his emotions and ideas with the family. He is more likely to make decisions regarding his work and even planning his holidays, keeping the family in mind, which means he will be a good family man.
Finding Yin to the Yang
The famous saying goes "Opposites attract". Finding commonalities like having the same taste in food and music and fun-loving activities may be good, but If you are lazy with paying bills and taking care of your garden or pets, and he finds interest in them, that would be a great match. If the wife can’t survive on few hours of sleep, the husband should be willing to share the load. Hence it is good to find a person who is strong in the areas where you are weak and vice versa complementing each other.
As well, there should be many basic common things such as religion and religious practices, moral values and ideas about children which help you to live in peace and harmony with each other.
A person should be assertive enough to say NO if it is a NO. This is also applicable while you are selecting your spouse-to-be. Rejecting the wrong ones is a part of the process of selecting the right one.
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