Another way to find more happiness in your life is to get rid of desire for superiority by nurturing self-compassion and gratitude. Self-compassion works when things in life are going miserable. Gratitude works when things in life are going very well.
During bad times, an individual becomes harsher to oneself. It is a general belief in people that being harsh to oneself is a good way to push oneself harder. But research shows that it has the opposite effect.Being overly self-critical depresses and demoralizes us. Perfectionists often suffer from this problem. Perfectionists have an illusionary view of life. If they are not able to follow it, they punish themselves. This has a negative impact on their psychology instead of motivating them. This leads to depression in perfectionists.
This is where self-compassion comes into picture. It is not only being kind to one but also being kind to humanity. Being harsh to oneself makes one feel isolation and this leads to dejection. You have to open your heart for yourself. The things required for selfcompassion are being kind to one, have an understanding of common humanity and have mindfulness.
This forms part of self-compassion. One must be nice to one own self. This is called selfkindness. Think of yourself as a friend of yours. Try to understand yourself as you would understand a friend. This way, you will ask yourself the questions that you will ask your friend in times of need. Moreover, another way of self-compassion is to write a letter to yourself. Self-compassion leads to mitigation of the need of superiority.
The next strategy for happiness is gratitude. This works well when things are going well for us. After achievements, we feel happy and experience hubristic pride at times. But in the long-term, it raises our desire for superiority. This leads to unhappiness in the long-term. It is important to bring this tendency down. The best way to do so is to show gratitude to all those people who have helped you to achieve something.
Those who showed gratitude experienced a transformation of emotions from hubristic pride to bonding and relationships. The people who show gratitude initiate a reciprocal mechanism of showing appreciation. This leads to strengthening of bonds between people and hence, leads to happiness.
Here is an exercise. Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write your thoughts about the person whom you would like to thank in your life. Write it in the form of a letter. Don’t write anything negative in the letter. It must always convey positive and happy feelings. No sarcasm, please! No criticism, please! Send that letter to that person. This is one of the best ways to express gratitude to someone who has always meant a lot to you in your life.
Expressing gratitude is very important. This helps us to spread positive and happy vibes all around us. Self-compassion and gratitude are a must for happiness in life.
68 Lectures 14.5 hours