What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is being able to express opinions, thoughts, and feelings clearly in a non-confrontational way. It is the ability to respect and exert our own rights without denying the rights and personal boundaries of others.

An assertive person has near-complete control over his life and he would not let aggressive people take advantage of him.

Characteristics of Assertive People

Assertive people tend to have the following characteristics −

• They are aware of their rights and feel free to exercise them.
• They express their feelings, thoughts, and opinions confidently.
• They know how to manage their anger and yet be rational about it.
• They have the ability to build amicable relationships with other people.
• They believe in friendships where both people have equal rights of opinion.

Example

Assertive people are open to negotiating any proposition without insisting on their version. For example, imagine this situation −

Rajat offers rides to his neighbor Nikhil, who is also his colleague, to office every day. Yet, Nikhil never offers to pay for gas. This makes Rajat feel taken advantage of. While an aggressive person will shout and a passive person will continue to sulk, Rajat − being an assertive person − speaks up −

I like to offer you ride, as we both go to the same place. Say, would it be okay with you if we were to take turns at paying for gas every week? Anyways, you would be spending more money and wasting more time by taking a bus to work every day.

This way, Rajat manages to put his point across without hurting his co-worker’s feelings. He also gets the other person to realize what his thoughts were.