The Conflict between Sexes over Sexual Occurrence

Disputes over the incidence and timing of sex may be the most prevalent source of contention between men and women. Men will occasionally want sexual access with the least amount of investment. Men frequently defend their resources and are quite selective in whom they invest them. They are "resource coy," preferring to save money for long-term relationships. Because women frequently pursue a long-term sexual strategy, they seek investment, or signs of engagement, before agreeing to sex. However, the investment that women seek is the one that men fiercely preserve. The sexual access men crave the resources women are so picky about providing.

The Conflict between Sexes over Sexual Occurrence

The timing of intercourse about ovulation strongly influences the chances of conception, although the actual number of days of conception in a woman's menstrual cycle is uncertain. The timing of intercourse can also be related to the sex of the baby. Conception can only take place at the time of ovulation. However, the number of fertile days before or after ovulation is uncertain. Estimates range from 2 days per menstrual cycle. Other fertility issues also remain unresolved. For example, how often will intercourse maximize a couple's chances of getting pregnant? If intercourse is not timed or infrequent, does ageing sperm in the female reproductive tract before ovulation make for a less viable concept? Can a couple influence the sex of their baby by synchronizing their sex with ovulation?

Trouble with Sex

It can be understood through the following sub-headings −

Fear of Unwanted Pregnancy

Women cannot be comfortable with sex if they fear getting pregnant. This is especially true if no contraception is used or there is a fear of contraceptive failure. Therefore, men and women should be responsible for preventing pregnancy during sex. Many men often think that the withdrawal technique is "not at all" an effective method of contraception. It often makes a woman sexually unsatisfied because she may not reach her climax when pregnant. Both mutually agreed methods of contraception should be used after consulting a gynaecologist.

Intrusion Phobia

It is rooted in deep psychological fear of genitals due to physical and psychological trauma during the early years of life or due to "fear" fear learned" from hearing myths about painful penetration during periods of vulnerability and dramatic growth years. A woman may have vaginismus, which is an "involuntary spasm" of the muscle that controls the entrance to the vagina when trying to penetrate. It can cause pain and discomfort. The unintentional tightening of the vaginal muscles makes penetration painful and impossible. Because of this unconscious and unwarranted apprehension, a woman may reject any advances and attempts at penetration by her partner.

Performance Anxiety

Anxiety related to impotence and the fear of not achieving or maintaining an erection ranks first in popularity of all sexual fears experienced by men-acquired sex. Ironically, fear is the most significant cause of impotence and, thus, avoidance of sex with a partner. If a man focuses more on his performance with his partner rather than on the pleasure of the sensations during the sexual act, it may be difficult to achieve or maintain an erection. It can become a vicious cycle in which the anxiety about an erection becomes so intense that he cannot get an erection, which makes him even more anxious.

Premature Ejaculation

This is the most common sexual complaint among men. There is no medically treated organic cause. It has a psycho-behavioural origin. Premature ejaculation is a "learned reflex" that can be effectively retrained by teaching couples behavioural techniques such as the "squeeze technique" or the "stop-start technique". A qualified sex counsellor should be consulted for the same.

Erectile Dysfunction

If a man cannot achieve or keep an erection, then penetrative sex is impossible. There can be organic (biological), psychological, or situational causes for the same problem. If the cause is organic, medical or surgical intervention may be recommended. Of course, this requires a psycho-sexual history, physical examination, and various investigations to determine the cause before planning an intervention.

Theory of Sexual Strategies

Long-term mating strategies involve a high degree of investment in time and resources, while short-term mating strategies often involve casual sexual encounters. Although both males and females engage in both forms of mating, males are said to devote more effort to short-term strategies, while females are more likely to pursue strategies—more extended term.

According to Buss and Schmitt, males and females have developed distinct strategies because they face different adaptive challenges related to mating and reproduction. Throughout history, the reproductive benefit from short-term mating has been much higher in males than in females. From an evolutionary point of view, men have maximized their reproductive advantage by having as many children as possible. On the other hand, females who have maximized their reproductive advantage by carefully choosing a mate will increase their offspring's chances of survival. Despite suggesting that females are more likely to seek long-term mates, Buss and Schmitt identified several situations where they might benefit from short-term mating.

However, according to the SST, even when women pursue short-term strategies, their primary goal is not to obtain many sexual partners but to find mates of superior genetic quality. Although men are said to desire more sexual partners than women, they may also choose to pursue long-term mating for several reasons. According to SST, while males and females mate for the long term depending on the context, they differ in what they seek in a long-term partner. For example, men are said to appreciate youth and physical attractiveness, which signal fertility. On the other hand, women look for signs that a man will be willing and able to support himself and his children


Conflict of interest between the sexes is increasingly recognized as a driving force (same) evolution of traits. During the final stages of copulation, the female tries her best to dislodge the rising male, while the male struggles to maintain genital contact and often successfully prolongs the copulation structure beyond the desired time of the children.

Updated on: 19-Apr-2023


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