Which is the right way to punish kids when they don't listen to their parents: beating, scolding or both?


Hitting a child as a punishment can never be the solution as the child will only get more stubborn with each day. You should also know where to stop while scolding. What you speak out in anger is also extremely crucial. He or she will either grow to become an introvert, or they will display rash behavior and an arrogant attitude. They can even grow up to blame you in the future. So, make sure of a few things to punish your kids in a manner that the word “punishment” does not become a nightmare for them.

Control Yourself

When your child hits another child you may feel embarrassed or ashamed while you fear that your child is developing that crooked side. Here’s your test as you may end up hitting your kid or call him/her a bad girl or bad boy. These words hurt children and get imbibed in their mind forever.

Be Gentle

So, avoid using these words, have control on your mind, and rather try to find out the reason or stress behind their triggers. Once you know the reason you may perhaps say “why did you hit him? I did not know you could be so mean at times” than “you are the naughtiest boy I have seen”. Make them understand that it was their behavior that was bad and not them.

Deal with It Differently

Children have a nascent mind that’s still getting accustomed to the world and so, instead of pointing out what wrong they did, tell them what they can do or say instead. If you directly ask them to stop they will not know what to do next, hence, tell them something like “talk to him, don’t hit”, or “solve it among yourselves”.

  • Do not lose temper, be calm and choose your words wisely. For instance, say “Yes, he did not lend you the toy but that does not mean you hit him”. Say this firmly and in a commanding manner without raising your voice.

  • Empathize with your child by sounding that you understand her pain, but emphasize on how they should not snatch it from their friends or beat them up.

  • Offer them alternatives to make the situation better for instance, “that was not right for you to do that, but do you want to patch up by giving your friend a hug?” and so on.

Updated on: 30-Jul-2019

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