Coming To Terms With Bisexuality: Advice For Married Women

As the lines between bisexuals and straight people become less clear, there are new worries about what is acceptable behavior in romantic relationships. A lot more people than ever before are coming out as gay or bisexual. Some people might do what people did in the past and hide their sexuality.

Although curiosity about sexuality among heterosexually identified women is nothing new, the growing societal acceptance of bisexual women alters how many think about sexuality. And this is how the new change will be.

But what does it mean for a woman to be bisexual? Also, if a woman says she is bisexual, what are the rules for her relationships inside and outside the bisexual community?

What is it to be Bisexual?

A bisexual woman is romantically, sexually, and emotionally interested in people of either sex. When a woman says she is bisexual, she doesn't see the world as just two choices, as heterosexism does.

Some individuals think that to be bisexual; one must have an equal level of attraction to both men and women. Other people have a murkier understanding of bisexuality, identifying predominantly as heterosexual even while their sexual activity could lead others to assume they are bisexual.

Therefore, while it's true that bisexuality considers the possibility of attraction to both sexes, it doesn't automatically follow that someone who has fantasized about or has had sexual encounters with both sexes is bisexual. On the other hand, a bisexual female may or may not have had sexual encounters with men. A person's sexual orientation has nothing to do with the veracity of their self-identified gender.

Monogamy and Being Bisexual

One's sexual orientation does not affect one's decision to be monogamous or polyamorous. Some bisexual women are monogamous, while others have relationships with both sexes at various points in their lives, yet others have coexisting partners. If you're in a committed relationship and wondering if you need to start dating other people to feel whole, that's a decision you and your partner should make together based on your comfort level and the specifics of your relationship.

Help For Bisexual Women Who Are Married

Over the past 40 years, women's ideas about sexuality have greatly changed. No longer is sex only used to make babies. Today, the sexual revolution wants women to have the same chances as men to enjoy all of the sexual pleasures life offers. In today's sexual environment, women are getting more self-esteem and confidence.

As a result of this shift, more and more women are testing the waters of bisexuality, despite the stigma that has traditionally surrounded it. Even though it has helped women become more sexually free and explore their sexuality, coming to terms with being bisexual has caused stress and anxiety for many single people and couples. In relationships, misunderstandings often start with a careless statement or an awkward confession.

Straight Spouse Network says that there are more than three million heterosexual, gay, bisexual, or transgender couples living in the United States. Here are some tips for bisexual, married women who are thinking about telling their partners.

Define Your Goals

You wouldn't go out and buy a sofa without first determining its size and style. You would probably measure the area it would occupy, think about the design and material you like, and then make a selection.

If you're searching for a long-term commitment, you should use the same prudence to determine what you need from a partner. Study after study emphasizes the importance of being clear about one's relationship goals before actively dating.

Know How You Feel Before you Talk About Your Sexuality

It can be hard to come to terms with being bisexual. If you're already in a relationship, it gets harder. When deciding how to tell your partner that you are bisexual, you should consider how comfortable they will be with the news and your religious and moral beliefs. First, you should both learn more about bisexuality and how bisexual women live their lives. If you are in a committed relationship, you should wait until you know your bisexuality before telling your partner.

Talk to Your Partner

After telling your partner you're bisexual, you shouldn't feel like you must make a choice immediately. Take it easy and talk while you're on the road. To build a strong foundation for a happy relationship, it's important to talk openly about your wants and goals. Give yourselves enough time to work through the problems that will come up as you try to get back together.

Participate in a Support Group

You and your partner might get something from going to a support group. You and your partner will understand the situation better if you find other couples who have been through or are going through the same things. has a full list of private online resources for couples in similar situations. This online resource is for people who are or have been straight partners or spouses of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender (GLBT) partners and mixed-orientation couples.

Get Counseling

When revealing to your spouse that you are bisexual, remember that he is far behind you regarding coming to terms with your bisexuality. Be patient with him and consider seeking professional guidance to help you cope with the potential shock, hurt, anger, and self-blame that can accompany this revelation. Remember, you are not alone. Support groups for couples facing these issues operate in many communities across the United States.


You may decide that you do not want to change the marriage situation or feel like you need some distance between you and your partner. Anyway, the decision does not have to be conclusive– your sentiments may change with time.

Expect your husband to resist talking about how you feel about being gay. You don't have to end your marriage just because you've accepted that you're bisexual. But, you need to accept and get advice on it. Many women stay happy, fulfilling marriages even after telling their partners they are bisexual.

Updated on: 12-Apr-2023


Kickstart Your Career

Get certified by completing the course

Get Started